


Sailor Moony

by Blairdiggory



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, M/M, This is the best thing i've ever written, slight wolfstar but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 07:51:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15577248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blairdiggory/pseuds/Blairdiggory
Summary: What if Remus was a were-magical girl instead of a werewolf?Slight Wolfstar, but it's more of a side joke





	Sailor Moony

Remus Lupin was rightfully and truly screwed. 

Where had he gone wrong?

[Flashback]

“Remus, we know.”

Remus froze at James’ voice. They couldn’t know. He’d been extra careful to ensure that they didn’t know. They shouldn’t even suspect. But being gone once a month during the full moon, despite the excuses he gave, was too much of a giveaway.

They were in the boys’ dormitory in Gryffindor tower, away from prying ears. Remus turned to James, faking a bewildered look.

“Know what?”

“You’re a werewolf.”

Remus sucked in a breath. Should he lie or tell the truth?

“No, I’m not-“ he began.

“Don’t be dense, Remus,” said Sirius, who was lounging on his bed. Normally he had a smirk on his face, but it was uncharacteristically absent now. At least they weren’t treating this like a joke. 

“No, seriously-“

“We are serious,” said James, adamantly. 

“Quite serious,” Peter piped up. 

“And we don’t care,” said Sirius.

“Don’t… care?”

“Yeah, you’re our best mate,” said James. “So you’re a werewolf. Who cares? Not us.”

“In fact,” Sirius chimed in. “We have the perfect solution to your problem!”

“We mulled it over, and we thought, ‘Well, we can’t hang out with Remus as humans in his werewolf form, so we’ll just have to hang out as animals!’” said James.

“We’re going to become Animagi!” Peter squeaked. “Just for you!”

Remus gaped, which the other boys took as a sign of awe. And of course, Remus was completely and utterly floored by their decision. These boys had known him for, what, months? And they were doing this just for him? 

But he couldn’t tell them the truth. Not the real truth, at least. And becoming animagi would take years. He could come up with something before then. He would somehow tell them the truth before they accomplished it, or impede their progress, or something. 

Just… not now. Not now that they were accepting him, and everything was going so well he could cry. 

[End flashback]

Guess what Remus hadn’t done in the years it had taken the three other boys to turn into animagi?

Figured something out. 

So what was he going to do now?

Madame Pomfrey escorted him to the Whomping Willow, unaware of his true condition (she believed he was a werewolf also) and his friends hiding in the woods in their animal forms. She poked the knot on the tree, lead Remus to the Shrieking Shack, and ensured that he was secure in the rickety old house before taking her leave. 

It would only be a few moments now, thought Remus. And his friends were going to hate him.

Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs slid down the tunnel beneath the Whomping Willow and ran down the length of it to the Shrieking Shack. They poked their snouts through the trapdoor of the shack, close to where Remus stood. He looked at them and sighed.

“I’m sorry for whatever you’re about to see,” he said.

The full moon began to rise into the sky, and Remus transformed. 

A light, colored the same glowing orange of the full moon, burst from his chest and enveloped him. He lifted off the ground and twirled, his hands following the length of his body. From his head, locks of his hair became brighter and curlier, and a glittering tiara with a jewel in the shape of the full moon in its center placed itself gently on his head. Remus’s outfit changed from his school uniform to a white shirt with shimmering orange shoulder pads and an orange full moon design on the chest. He gained a necklace with a circular jewel on it and an orange schoolgirl’s skirt. Remus clicked his heels and clapped his hands, and orange boots and gloves found their way onto him. In a final flash, he landed on the floor in a curtsy. 

Remus stumbled, trying to get his bearings. His animal friends stared at him.

Then, if animals could howl with laughter, they sure did. 

“Oh, my God, this is even worse than I imagined,” Remus mumbled, putting his face in his hands. 

Sirius laughed so hard he burst out of his dog form, but his laughter still came out in short barks. 

“I’m gonna piss myself!” he yelled when he got enough air into his lungs. “Moony, holy sh-“

“This is the worst day of my life,” said Moony. 

Once the three boys calmed down, both James and Peter changed back to their human forms, and all three had huge grins on their faces.

“So, you’re not a werewolf, then? You just get your kicks this way?” asked James.

“I’m… a were-magical girl,” said Remus. 

That led to another round of howling laughter. 

“I’m sorry, that’s a thing?” said Sirius. 

“Yes. I was bitten by a were-magical girl, and now-“

Remus gestured to himself. 

“-I am also a were-magical girl.”

“And you didn’t tell us?” said Peter. 

“Would you have believed me if you hadn’t just seen it?”

“…Good point.”

“I don’t even know why I pretend to be a werewolf,” Remus said, sighing. He sat down on the dirty floor, trying his best to make sure his skirt didn’t flare up. “I’m a lot less dangerous than a werewolf, and werewolves have this stigma that I’ll have to live with if I pretend to be one.”

“Less dangerous? So you won’t bite us and turn us into-“ Sirius choked back laughter. “-were-magical girls too?”

“No, I won’t,” said Remus, deflating. “I’m sorry I let you guys go through with becoming animagi, I should’ve said something-“

“Dude, don’t sweat it. We probably would’ve tried to do this anyway, let’s be honest,” said James. He began crawling out of the trapdoor. “Now, why don’t we paint the town red?”

“I’m not going out into Hogsmeade in this!” sputtered Remus. 

“Relax, no one will see you!” said Sirius. “And we’ll bring a coat next time.”

“Yeah, something to match your tiara,” snickered Peter. 

“Wow, I hate this so much.”

“No, but seriously, you look like you’re freezing,” said Sirius. “Here.”

Sirius shrugged off the sweater he was wearing over his school uniform and handed it to Remus. Remus’ blush was hidden by the makeup that apparently came with his transformation. 

“Let’s go!” said James, hugging Remus around the shoulders and dragging him and the other boys along. 

[Flash forward to the next month]

“Moooooony!” sang Sirius, as he, James, and Peter came ever closer to the Shrieking Shack. “Or should I call you Sailor Moony? You know, ‘cause your outfit looks like a sailor’s?”

“Yeah, I know- What the HELL are you wearing?” Remus gasped. 

Sirius had popped through the trapdoor in a brand new outfit. He wore a black tuxedo and top hat, along with a black cape with red trimmings. He had full moon designs embroidered throughout the ensemble, and a white mask that covered his eyes.

“You like it?” he asked, grinning and doing a dramatic twirl. “It’s for you!”

“HOW ON EARTH IS THIS FOR ME?”

“You have to wear such a ridiculous outfit that I thought, ‘What will make Moony feel better?’. And then, it came to me: We’ll wear ridiculous outfits, too!” said Sirius cheekily. 

“But you’re the only one wearing a ridiculous outfit,” Remus pointed out. 

“Yeah, that’s because Wormtail and Prongs didn’t want to go along with the plan. Personally, I think they’re just assholes. You need to get better friends, Moony,” Sirius said, shaking his head. “But now, think about it! We can have our own adventures! The Adventures of Sailor Moony and Tuxedo Mask!”

“Tuxedo Mask? That’s your magical girl name?” Remus said. 

“Yes, I think it’s quite clever, don’t you?”

“No, that’s like calling yourself ‘Shirt Pants’ because you’re wearing a shirt and pants.”

“You suck at naming things, Sailor Moony. Obviously, Tuxedo Mask is MUCH better,” Sirius said. He covered Remus in his cape. “Now, onwards! To adventure!”

“Hold on, here’s your jacket, Moony,” James said. Sirius took the cape off his friend so that James could give him a thick coat. As he handed it to his were-magical girl best friend, he smirked, looked pointedly at Sirius, and whispered, “Go get ‘im, Tiger.”

Remus blushed to the point where his makeup couldn’t cover up the color in his face. He made to whack James, who swiftly moved out of the way. 

“Are you guys coming or what?” yelled Sirius, and the four boys set off on their first adventure, ready for anything that could come their way.


End file.
